R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
