i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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