I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
third nipple confirmed
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
