i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
