so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
