I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
