The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
