i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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