At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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