If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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