there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
