we have officially lost it.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
