go do what you do best...puke behind churches
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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