i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
