I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
