I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
