The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
