Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
