well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
