I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
