this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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