every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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