My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
