i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
