You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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