I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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