that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
