That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
