Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
that's an acceptable place to lick
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
