perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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