you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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