naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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