Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
