Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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