so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
