don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
