My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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