Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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