She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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