i jhust puked up my retainher.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
