I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just invented taco cereal.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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