I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
