I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
