Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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