LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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