the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
