if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
