did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
