I think scott just propositioned me for sex
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
