put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My liver just had a heart attack.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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