i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
