In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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