The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
